September 13, 2023

A couple days after my last post I took a two-week road trip to Minnesota to visit family. While there I got together with four long-time friends—Roland, Carol, Debbie, and Mary—who I haven’t seen for 20-30 years. I met them directly and indirectly through rock climbing courses I taught 40+ years ago. We climbed, skied, played broomball and much more while Annette and I lived in Minneapolis (on this trip, I met them at a brewpub called the Urban Growler, where one of the two owners reminded me that she was the one who broke my nose playing broomball back in the 80’s ). It was so good to reconnect with them, something I’ve been doing with our friends and families over the past year, and which I pledge to do more in the future. This is so good for my soul!

Traveling is an opportunity for me to listen to audio books, which I do even more now that I’m traveling alone. Each trip, I select books gleaned from ‘best audio books’ lists. I often have no idea what they are about, which makes listening even more interesting, and a great way to experience different authors.

For the start of this trip, I chose ‘Atlas of the Heart’ by Brene Brown. Some of you may be familiar with her. I wasn’t and had no idea what the book was about, or even that it was non-fiction. Turns out, it was one of the most fascinating and informative books I’ve read or listened to for many, many years. In the book, Dr. Brown—A social scientist/researcher— “takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human, and to create the necessary skills and an actionable framework for meaningful connection.” There were so many ‘aha’ moments for me that I kept pausing the book until I reached the next rest area so I could pull over and write things down. Then, realizing I would neither finish the book nor reach my destination this way, I gave up and just listened, and then bought the hardcover once I reached Minnesota. This is a beautiful coffee table book that you can pick up and immediately find something interesting to read and learn about, but then is hard to put down. I highly recommend checking out the audio book from your library and buying the hardcover.

In my last post, I said that I wasn’t sure what compelled me to write about my grief journey on Facebook. After listening to this book, I have a much better idea of why. The book spurred me to seek out more information on the author, which led me to a Ted talk of hers called “The Power of Vulnerability.” This provided even more clarity. I realized that the words, emotions, and connections she talks about are the same ones I’ve been writing about over the past year in my posts. I have included her talk below (it’s 20 minutes long). Please take some time to watch. It’s fascinating information on vulnerability, wholeheartedness, and courage.

In her presentation she talks about the original definition of courage, the root of which is 'Cor," Latin for heart. Originally, courage meant ‘to tell the story of who you are from your whole heart.’

She concludes her presentation with the following: To be wholehearted means “To let ourselves be seen. Deeply seen. Vulnerably seen. To love with our whole heart, even though there’s no guarantee. To practice gratitude and lean into joy. In those moments of terror when we’re wondering can I love you this much, can I believe in this as passionately, can I be this fierce about this? Just to be able to stop and instead of catastrophizing what might happen to say ‘I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.’ And the last, which I think is most important. is to believe that we’re enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, I’m enough, then we stop screaming and start listening. We’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

“To be vulnerable is not a weakness, it’s our greatest measure of courage.” ~Brene Brown

Anguish and pain, vulnerability and courage, gratitude and joy. The journey to healing....