August 17, 2025

Dear Annette,

Yesterday—August 17th—was the third anniversary of your death. I spent the day as I have in the past, looking through photos, thinking about you and how your life continues to influence mine in such wonderful ways, and writing this letter to you. I’m posting this a day later for a reason I’ll get to in a moment.

This day for me is a mural of emotions. Some parts of it are brightly colored and filled with beautiful images of our years and decades together. The memories are so wonderful my love. You always felt most alive and joyful when you were exploring this amazing world under your own power…by bike, on cross-country skis, in a kayak or sailboat, or on a trail while hiking and backpacking. Being around the people you love made your eyes sparkle even brighter. As I look through years and decades of photos going back to 1981, these are the things I see most in those. But I also remember and cherish our relationship; in all the thoughtful ways large and small that you demonstrated your love every day. The smile that lit up my life that was reserved just for me. I am overflowing with gratitude for my life with you.

Yet, there is also a shadow over this day as I will always feel that hole in my heart—the part of my life that no longer exists in the present. It still gives me pause at how painful the sadness can still be, though it does not come as often, and is not as shattering as it once was. Still, my overriding emotion is that I miss you to my core. But that part of you which remains intertwined with me gives me strength to seek and find joy and meaning in my life moving forward. I am very grateful to have this opportunity and am helped by many wonderful friends and family on this journey.

I thought about when, in your mid-40’s, you made the challenging decision to change careers and follow your heart. You left your job as the IT Manager for a state agency in Wisconsin and went back to school to earn your master’s degree in library science (MLS). It was while you were working at a local library that you developed your passion for early childhood literacy, and how critical it is that children read at grade level by the third grade. Those who don’t will never catch up throughout their life. So, in 2017 you left the library and became an AmeriCorps Volunteer with United Way of North Idaho, creating what is now their Ready for Kindergarten program. This program has helped thousands of families in north Idaho teach their children the skills necessary to be successful not only as they start kindergarten, but which are foundational for a lifetime of success.

Your passion and belief in the power of books to not simply entertain or inform, but to change lives, is what led me to build and support, in your memory, a “Grief Support Lending Library” for Hospice of North Idaho (HONI). This library contains books on grief, healing and hope; available for anyone to borrow that is grieving and mourning the loss of a loved one or companioning someone who is. This morning (Monday), this new addition to their campus was dedicated and opened to the community in your honor and memory. Your legacy and passion for helping others live on my love. Thank you so very much! Thanks also to HONI leadership for the opportunity and privilege of honoring and remembering you in this very special way.

Love and gratitude always,

David